I read the news today oh boyAbout a lucky man who made the
gradeAnd though the news was rather sadI just had to laughI saw
the photographHe blew is mind out in carHe didn't notice
that the lights had changedA crowd of people stood and
staredThey'd seen his face beforeNobody was really sureIf
he was from the House of LordsI saw a film today oh boy,The
English Army had just won the warA crowd of people turned
awayBut I just had to lookHaving read the bookI'd love to
turn you onWoke up, fell out of bedDragged a comb across my
headFound my way downstairs and drank a cupAnd looking up I
noticed I was lateFound my coat and grabbed my hatMade the bus
in seconds flatFound my way upstairs and had a smokeSomebody
spoke and I went into a dreamI read the news today oh
boyFour-thousand holes in Blackburn, LancashireAnd though the
holes were rather small they had to count them allNow they know
how many holes it takes to fill the Albert HallI'd love to
turn you on