I have only comparatively recently emerged from the United States
army so that I am now of course in the radio-active reserve and,
the usual jokes about the army aside, one of the many fine
things one has to admit is the way that the army has carried the
American democratic ideal to its logical conclusion in the sense
that not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of
race, creed, and color, but also on the grounds of ability. Be
that as it may some of you may recall the publicity a few years
ago about the army's search for an official army song to be
the counterpart of the navy's Anchors Away and the
airforce's Up In The Air Junior Birdman songs. I was in
basic training at the time and I recall our platoon sergeant,
who was an unfrocked marine.
Actually, the change of service had come as quite >a blow to him
because it meant that he had to memorize a new serial number
which took up most of his time. At any rate I recall this
sergeant's informing me and my "room-mates" of this rather
deplorable fact the army didn't have any official, excuse
me, didn't have no official song and suggested that we work
on this in our copious free time. Well, I submitted the following
song which is called It Makes A Fellow Proud To Be A Soldier
which, I think, demonstrates the proper spirit you'll
agree. However, the fact that it did not win the contest, I can
ascribe only to blatant favoratism on the part of the judges.
The heart of every man in our platoon must swell with pride,
For the nation's youth, the cream of which is marching at
his side.
For the fascinating rules and regulations that we share,
And the quaint and curious costumes that we're called upon
to wear.
Now Al joined up to do his part defending you and me.
He wants to fight and bleed and kill and die for liberty.
With the hell of war he's come to grips,
Policing up the filter tips,
It makes a fella proud to be a soldier!
When Pete was only in the seventh grade, he stabbed a cop.
He's real R.A. material and he was glad to swap
His switchblade and his old zip gun
For a bayonet and a new M-1.
It makes a fella proud to be a soldier!
After Johnny got through basic training, he
Was a soldier through and through when he was done.
It's effects were so well rooted,
That the next day he saluted
A Good Humor man, an usher, and a nun.
Now Fred's an intellectual, brings a book to every meal.
He likes the deep philosophers, like Norman Vincent Peale.
He thinks the army's just the thing,
Because he finds it broadening.
It makes a fella proud to be a soldier!
Now Ed flunked out of second grade, and never finished
school.
He doesn't know a shelter half from an entrenching tool.
But he's going to be a big success.
He heads his class at OCS.
It makes a fella proud to be a soldier!
Our old mess sergeant's taste buds had been shot off in the
war.
But his savory collations add to our esprit de corps.
To think of all the marvelous ways
They're using plastics nowadays.
It makes a fella proud to be a soldier!
Our lieutenant is the up-and-coming type.
Played with soldiers as a boy you just can bet.
It is written in the stars
He will get his captain's bars,
But he hasn't got enough box tops yet.
Our captain has a handicap to cope with, sad to tell.
He's from Georgia, and he doesn't speak the language
very well.
He used to be, so rumor has, the Dean of Men at Alcatraz.
It makes a fella proud to be,
Why, as a kid I vowed to be,
What luck to be allowed to be
A soldier. (At ease!)
Send "It Makes A Fellow Pr…" Ringtone to your Cell 
