* (Burrrrp) Oh, yeah, oh, you son of a b*tches(It gets so
f**kin' crabby in this booth, man)(It's like 90
degrees in here)(Smells like cigarettes in a toilet)(I'm
gonna build) a Stepfather FactoryThe latest in
technologyStepfather FactoryJobs for the communityA Stepfather
Factory The age of familial industryA Stepfather FactoryBuilding
tomorrow's fathers todayA Stepfather FactoryThe latest in
technologyStepfather FactoryJobs for the communityA Stepfather
Factory The age of familial industryBuilding tomorrow's
fathers todaySpilling the leftovers of [creational clique]We
grew with the concept now we're ready to go
publicToday's a big day for the companyA big step for the
little-steppers who slept for years uncomfortablyLittle man,
little lady, cute little babyReach your hand out to the future
of automated roboticsOn display here for the first time in under
a year hereAt the World's fair - but is it really?Ladies and
Gentlemen I propose that the marketis sinking under the weight of
useless contraptionsadded to the shopping carts of all
hard-working familiesElectric doodads and wizard hats [exist] to
keep the munchkins entertainedBut get replaced by newer versions
such as breakdown systematicallyMothers - how many times have
you debated sub-euthanasia tablets for breakfast snacksWhen
restlessness attacks seemingly at random?With an emptiness
inside that's hard to identify, maybePursuing obvious like
pill-popping [the cossanova edict]Chances are you've been
abandonedWell I'm no scientist, that's not what I went
to school forAnd I'm not a doctor, so I don't know much
about medicineBut I'm willing to bet that you, yes you
littlewhat's your name sweetheart? (dada) yeah, whateverGet
a funny feeling in your tummy when your mommy criesSomething
between woozy and confusionAnd you spend your thoughts on how
the sadnessin your mommycan be rooted out, burned, scorched,
turned out, forgottenDifferent concepts than the candy and
little baby dolls orWhatever it is that normal kids get to think
aboutWell I can honestly say that this invention is,Let me start
by saying we've grafted only the finest stuffInserted the
most high tech, state of the art, with brain charted for
authenticTruly human emotion and trained to be domesticMade from
the most easily available materials and, uh, loosely
inspectedGuaranteed to revolutionizePerfectly realistic and even
somewhat institutionally respected Robotic relative(That's
why I'm gonna build) a Stepfather FactoryThe latest in
technologyA Stepfather FactoryJobs for the communityA Stepfather
Factory The age of familial industryA Stepfather FactoryBuilding
tomorrow's fathers todayA Stepfather FactoryThe latest in
technologyA Stepfather FactoryJobs for the communityStepfather
Factory The age of familial industryI'm not only the
president, I'm a clientSo you purchased a paternal unit,
class A type 1A new addition to your living room space, watch it
goHave your warranty for at least 90 days, so have funIf in that
time frame there's a problem, please let us knowBefore you
start there's a few details that you must learnTechnical
specs about your unit to make things run smoothIn an effort to
find an energy source our company's learned The cheapest
way to keep his battery running is with boozePlug it in, give it
a name, man of the house, help sustainWear the pants, you can
relax, [water the pad], nucular fam [ordered a nucleus]Brings us
to the safety chapterSection 87 in your handbook subsection 16
entitledTroubleshootingFuel sources are at a slight risk of
mixingWith the crispy plutonium centerOf your automated new
spouse and then drivenPossibly leading to the unpredicted
stimulation of its artificial emotion circuitsAnd in a few
unsubstantiated clinical trials this conditionhas led to
simulated feelings of resentment and worthlessnessManifested in
the highly unlikely but still possible actof physical aggression
towards you and your loved ones fleshy surfacesRemember, no cash
returnsOnly credits towards future purchases"Why are you hurting
me?I love you.""Why are you hurting me?I love you.""Why are you
hurting me?I love you."