So many presents, so little timeSanta won't be coming By my
house this year'Cause I tried to drown my sisterAnd I
pierced my earOh mama made it perfectly clearSanta don't
like bad boysEspecially Jewish onesSkanif-kanof and Lego blocks
Are what I desireSo, why'd I have to set The pizza
guy's hair on fireI told him I was sorry, I'm a
liarSo, no toys for meI don't deserve 'emI
couldn't wait for a big wheelAs the holiday nearedBut then
I told my grandmaThat she had a beard(speaking) Dear Santa, I
know what my problem isWhy I can't be goodIt's a fear
of intimacy You see, my whole lifeWhenever I've met someone
really great like you and, I keep feeling I'm getting too
close to themSomething inside meMakes me want to screw it upSo
in a weird wayThe reason I'm so bad is because I love you
so much SantaRock 'em, Sock 'em robotsIs what I was
hopin' forBut then I made a death threatTo Vice President
GoreOh Santa won't be knockin' on my door'Cause
he's a big fat whoreWhat made me say that!?Chutes and
LaddersWould be so good indeedSo why's I have to sell That
cop a bag of weedSo Santa please give meMy Easy Bake OvenI swear
I thought Billy goatsWere made for lovin'So Santa won't
youAccept my appoligiesSanta can't you seeI'm
beggin' you pleaseOh Santa, next yearI'll do you
rightLive from New YorkIt's Saturday Night
Send "A Christmas Song" Ringtone to your Cell 
